So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
