Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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