I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
