just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
