If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
