she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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