Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
love makes seman taste better
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
