It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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