It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
