Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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