I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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