His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
