I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
