I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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