Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
