marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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