I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
