Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
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She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
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He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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