he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
