i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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