Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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