Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
