It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
