Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
