People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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