She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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