my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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