You really coming over, don't trick.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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