It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize