The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
