Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
