I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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