Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
