Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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