You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
