loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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