All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
