I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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