i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
