Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
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How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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