i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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