Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
