ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
