a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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