I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
