Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
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burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
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You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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