My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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