Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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