So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
