if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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