We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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