there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just cropdusted the office
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
