don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
