but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
