I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
