i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
