P.S. I can't hear my feet
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
