i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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