he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
