We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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