wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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