I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
