i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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