it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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