Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
