I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
